It's been just over a week since I landed back at home from hosting my retreat at La Anita Rainforest Ranch in Northern Costa Rica. I'm not going to lie - I miss the lush, green jungle. The first day back in Ottawa, my fingernails that had grown long and strong while away, snapped off in the cold. My break from moisturizer was indeed over.
It feels a bit surreal to be on this side of my retreat. It's done, it's behind me now, and while I am still in awe, full-up of gratitude and yes, proud of myself, I can't help feeling a bit lost. This retreat has been on my mind in some form, pretty much daily throughout 2024. The back and forth of doing-it and not-doing-it; the strong call and attachment I felt to the venue and then the fear of spectacular failure! All the contradictions actually kept me in a creative mindset and moving forward. It was truly a year of growing. The retreat itself was almost easy, kind of like a well-prepared birthday party. (There was, in fact, a little birthday celebration for one of our guests.)
Which brings me to what I am about to share. A piece of writing by Jennifer Shea, one of the amazing retreat attendees, who just happened to be celebrating a milestone birthday.
Jen wrote and read this to us on the last full day of our retreat. It speaks beautifully to her retreat experience from start to finish, and what I have come to know as a retreat facilitator: in the company of brave women who are healing in their lives, we are transformed. We remember that living an authentic life is a sacred act. Holding this space for the group, for seven days in the Upala region of Costa Rica was an honour and has certainly transformed me. Our themes of embracing our "wise woman", in allowing ourselves to be wild and grounded, and in seeing and supporting our individual and collective feminine power, created an energy that deeply nourished our experience and exceeded my expectations.
Each and every one of the women who attended co-created this retreat with me. I loved experiencing these women bond, support, cry, laugh, share, and uplift each other. I loved being witness to the connection of nature and the feminine (as our guide told us "we are more forest than we know"). I loved stretching with these women - physically, mentally and emotionally. And I love reliving this experience through another's perspective and the opportunity she gave me to share it here.
by Jen Shea (11.29.24) - written at the Expand Beyond Recovery (EBR) La Anita Rainforest Ranch Retreat in Costa Rica
Seven months ago, I took a leap – booking the trip of a lifetime to commemorate the beginning of a new decade of my life.
Six days ago, I arrived in the jungle. A travel-weary warrior, I was welcomed with open arms and smiling faces at La Anita Rainforest Ranch.
Five days ago, I began a new morning ritual of coffee on the porch with my delightful roommate. We later meditated, stretched, and reconnected to Mother Earth and our heart centre as we listened to the sounds of nature. We learned about the healing powers of cacao, and we experienced the healing powers of sharing in circle within the warm embrace
of sisterhood.
Four days ago, I ventured out with my new equine friend, “Sol”, connecting with this foreign land from a different perspective and enjoying more new sights and sounds. Further connection was made with the EBR sisterhood, both by sharing and by listening.
Three days ago, we ventured out again, this time for a communal cooking experience: authentic Costa Rican food made by, and with, an authentic Costa Rican family. The bonds between these women are growing stronger each day. Like the vines in the rainforest, our lives are becoming intertwined. This afternoon, we even discovered our “inner tiger” (claws
and all) through Qigong!
Two days ago, we were offered an invitation to rest and rejuvenate in our own way. I had the privilege of spending one-on-one time with our wise woman leader, unpacking my emotional load and being held without judgement. I came away feeling understood and enlightened about going-forward life strategies … and I learned that there’s nothing like a
massage outdoors in the middle of the rainforest!
One day ago, we had yet another once-in-a-lifetime experience at Sensoria. Dubbed “Land of Senses and Magical Rainforest”, the Sensoria adventure did not disappoint. It was a feast of nature: hiking and breathing in the pure oxygen of the tropical rainforest and allowing the volcanic waters and golden mud to cleanse our bodies and souls. Today, we began to anticipate the end of this magical retreat. We continued to nourish ourselves with the fresh and delicious foods, juices, and coffee to fuel us now and in the days ahead. We identified our wise woman archetype(s) and underlying characteristics. It strikes me that we are all so wise!
As we prepare for re-entry into the “real world”, let us continue to expand beyond recovery, fueled by the magic of Costa Rica and the energy of this sisterhood. May we easily call to mind these glorious moments of rainforest magic to sustain us in crunchy times; may we remain both wild and grounded; and may we take comfort in knowing that, thanks to this
community, we are never alone.
Thank you Jen, for writing this beautiful ode to our time together at La Anita!
And so 2024 has proven to be another memorable year in recovery. Full of adventure, grief, strength, joy, hard work, celebration, challenge, ease, courage and more. All of the human stuff I suppose, but with the knowledge and support of my wise woman, my higher self, who is spending more time in the driver's seat of my life these days. I hope your wise woman is doing the same or at the very least, inching closer to that place.
May we all continue to expand beyond recovery. May we journey with grace. May the light of the universe continue to shine upon our path.
With so much love, Payton
P.S. If you are interested in checking out what I am doing so far in 2025, click on this LINK. If you are on Facebook haven't already joined the Expand Beyond Recovery group, you can HERE.
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